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If “belonging” costs freedom, it’s too expensive

— My stupid journal, 2014

Before I decided to leave the church, I would try to embody…


If you mean to do it, it’s a willful sin and it’s not forgiven, they said

The story of a brainwashed but stubborn woman’s return to herself, with excerpts from her stupid journals. See intro post


The story of a brainwashed but stubborn woman’s return to herself, with excerpts from her stupid journals

“There’s gotta be something I can do with all of this shit.” — Me, December of 2020

I’m a survivor. Luckily, I came out of the womb stubborn. Despite my seeming ‘strength,’ I am as sensitive as hell. Writing has always been there for me.

I’ve been through some shit: Divorce and cancer, which sucked. …


As I co-parent with a Fundamentalist Christian

Photo by Marc Kleen on Unsplash

Being raised in northern Minnesota by two devout fundamentalist Christian parents there were no two ways about it: I was going to grow up Fundamentalist Christian.

I was raised in it, got confirmed in it, made all my friends in it, got married twice to someone in the church (and…


24 year old me. Married and mad about it.

My sister sent me this old picture. I remember sitting in her apartment kitchen as she took this photo on 35mm black and white. I had traveled over two hours north to stay with her for the weekend, leaving my husband at home, as I often did. …


Photo by Morgan Sarkissian on Unsplash

I see you:

Running around the lake on your lunch break.

I see you pushing your running stroller at nap time.

I see you running alongside your kids who are reluctantly biking alongside you.

I see you in the early morning, I see you late at night.

You are out…


A Skeptic’s Poem

Illustration by Leen

Love.

What is it?

Is it codependency?

On both sides:

If you love me, I’ll love you back.

A negotiation?

A solution to

We hear:

There’s romantic love versus the broader ‘love’

Versus…


I’m just not gonna go anymore

Illustration by Leen

My love affair with social media started twelve years ago. A very brief recap:

Then: I joined Facebook in 2007, when I was 29. It was cute and fresh then. Even the name sounded cute, I was newly divorced and reeling from it (I…


Illustration by Leen

My son still goes to the “only right church.” The one I left.

The one I grew up in.

The one that says dancing is wrong. …


You’re nearing 60, and it’s been a good run. You have a husband you’ve been married to for almost 40 years, you’re a grandparent, you’re retired.

Life is on a steady, low-key kind of ride.

The golden years.

You look in the mirror, and you no longer evaluate or…

Leen

Agnostic. Cancer survivor. Divorce survivor. Proud single mom. Freelance designer + illustrator. Stubborn optimist. Finding my new path.

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